doesn't matter what you write, it only matters that you write
something, anything at all. Just the act of putting thoughts
together and recording them somehow is a step in the right
direction. So I'm just going to start writing total rubbish
and maybe if we're lucky a real clever weed will sprout from
so we begin with
brain works in strange ways. Ok, well
MY brain works
in strange ways; I'm still not convinced YOUR brain works
at all. From what I understand, your brain has all these creative
(it's a clinical term, you wouldn't understand) going on and
they need some kind of an outlet. Some people paint, some
sing, others put mass produced after-market products on their
Honda Civic and drive like assholes. Regardless of what you
do, your brain needs that outlet of creative energy or else
you will slowly become a country music fan.
of brain damage
once saw a man walking along a city street stop in his steps
to head butt a tree. Not hard enough to do damage to the tree,
or him unfortunately, but it certainly wasn't an accident.
The guy then continued walking down the street, stopped at
a signpost, and head butted it as well. Occasionally there
is this old broad who wanders past my house who shouts at
either herself or her imaginary friend. She's my favorite
nut job in this town, so far. The mayor used to be my favorite,
but it turns out he wasn't insane, just really, really dumb.
It makes me feel secure to know that mentally ill people are
given freedom to roam the streets in my area. When I am finally
diagnosed as "Nuttier than a Pecan Roll" (it's a
clinical term, you wouldn't understand) I sure hope I am allowed
to go on my merry way around town. I don't want to be tied
to a bed and fed pills. What fun is that? Half the fun of
being insane is trying to figure out where you are and how
the fuck you got there. Not unlike how George DUHbya must
the topic of dwarves
met Danny DiVito in a Toys'R'Us once when I was a kid. I doubt
he'd remember me though; I've changed so much since then.
That was my 15 minutes of fame compressed down to 9 seconds.
I feel cheated. It wasn't until about 2 weeks ago I realized
that Danny DiVito is a damn fine actor, but it's so hard to
realize that when all you can imagine is that slimy prick
from Taxi hitting on Elaine and making fun of Latka. I liked
has almost nothing to do with
me get this straight: I am an atheist, white male between
the ages of 18 and 35 born in the United States of America,
and I can't get student aid for college because, apparently,
I'm not a minority. How many atheist, white males between
the ages of 18 and 35 born in the United States of America
do you know? Including me, dumbass. I can think of one, me,
off the top of my head. It's not like I want to go to MIT
or Harvard at $11,000 per credit. It's $70 a credit and it's
cheaper than housing me in the state penitentiary.
life of crime does not sound all that bad these days. I'd
be able to set my own hours, I wouldn't have to use my own
vehicle, and I'd be my own boss. Sounds like everyone's "dream
job" description, doesn't it? What are the drawbacks?
Jail? Oh, scary. Meals, a bed, clothes, and cable TV for free?
Sounds like prep school or ROTC. I understand some jails even
have classes you can take for college credit. The biggest
drawback I can see is that I'd be surrounded by people who
think I am the devil. Kill Whitey! Damn the man!
what were we talking about?
Whistler" just went past my house. He's this guy whom,
every morning at 7:30ish, goes to the mini-mart across the
street to buy a paper and coffee. He whistles everywhere he
goes and it's just friggin' creepy! How can someone be so
damn cheery, especially at sevengoddamnthirty in the morning?
He must be one of the mentally ill folk allowed to wander
this town I mentioned earlier. I wonder if he bangs his head
on things. I can't help but think how much time he'd save
if he bought a subscription to the paper and a coffee maker?
But then he wouldn't be "The Whistler"; he'd be
"Every Guy In America". He's doing his own thing
and I gotta respect that. Or at least give him a wide berth
so he doesn't try to head butt me.
brings me to
"alternative" is the norm. Go ahead, read that sentence
again. I have nothing against little Goth teenagers, except
they are cuter than I am and have more fun, apparently. But
trying express yourself by looking like everyone else is an
oxy moron, like adult male, or cafeteria food, or Dodge Ram.
This applies not just to goths, but also to hippies, beatniks,
and anyone else who wants to be an individual. How can someone
be an individual when they belong to a group so large it is
officially recognized and has a name that appears on dictionary.com?
Once your clique gets a title, you cease being unique.
plus side is that you will have a lot of friends with similar
interests. Something everyone needs/wants, even if they constantly
claim the opposite. (Yes, that was a dig at myself.)
your own thing and dressing the way you want is more alternative
than "alternative" and doesn't attract stares and
giggles. I know, because I used to get the stares and giggles...now
I give them. Oh man, kids look fooking funny these days. I
went down that road when I was in high school: Combat Boots,
chains, shorn head, bad attitude, and etc. Nothing has changed,
actually. The combat boots became work boots, the chains became
keys to a truck/house, the head is shorn because I hate wasting
time with conditioners and hair gel, and the bad attitude
is best if we don't mention it.
of hate, which seems to be a common topic around here
Why is it that people who are different hate those that aren't?
Let me explain. Why do lesbians hate men? Ok, that's a bad
example. Perhaps I should move on to the next random thought
before a militant lesbian ex-marine sharpshooter puts a .50
caliber penis shaped object in my dangling bits.
we are on the topic of dumb bitches
I don't know how to end this. I'm sleepy and I want my security